Raise a Stink – Or not

I know that despite some memory problems and achy joints, my parts are intact and my ol’ sniffer is still in fine working order. Hopefully, I’m not resembling a bloodhound in the looks department, but I can smell blue cheese breath at 20 feet away. I can sniff out a poopy diaper a room away. Call it a talent, but I also realize that one’s sense of smell degrades in old age. It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that given our country’s aging population, that results in a whole lot of seniors who can’t distinguish between a dab of fragrance or being marinated in one. There are so many scent-free zones in our community, and yet there are times when I’ve nearly keeled over after some old deary has positioned herself right near me in either an elevator or in a church pew. Oh, Lord, I pray for some fresh air and common sense!

I can still sniff out a great glass of red wine!

Given the “more is better” philosophy, I have been witness to too many sweet ladies thinking that a good splash of cologne will somehow prove to attract the fellas. What they don’t factor into that thinking is that the old boys can’t smell a darn thing either, so it’s a bit futile. Why do you think their slippers smell so bad, hmmm? Interestingly, one study done by Philadelphia’s Monell Center, appearing in the “Flavour and Fragrance Journal”, showed that females actually have a keener sense of smell, especially when it comes to the underarm, sweaty kind, than men do. Aren’t we the lucky ones?

And what’s with the marketing these days of laundry products that promise amazing, fresh, long-lasting fragrances? It was only a few years ago that people were rushing out to buy the new scent-free fabric softeners, etc. I guess the major corporations were running low on new ideas, so they figured they’d add back all those floral scents. Again, maybe reaching out to all those seniors with poor sniffers, it was a tactical maneuver. You can layer more and more fragrance on and convince yourself you’re more appealing and fresh, fresh, fresh. People simply don’t come with “stale” stickers, but maybe they should.

Some time ago, I broadcast to my family to not buy me any lovely yet heavily perfumed toiletry sets. When I do buy any scented products, I prefer citrus-y, light ones. And yes, I still hold my breath when I have to walk past the perfume counters at the mall. I don’t mind people using a little bit of tantalizing scent on a special date, but please use a light hand. As long as I have a sensitive nose, I want to use it for smelling the flowers in spring, a clean baby smell after a bath, and warm banana bread from the oven.

Mmmm … I smell chocolate!

I might, however, change my mind about fabric softeners if they ever produce a chocolate fragrance. Imagine, crawling under the covers and being enveloped by that sweet aroma … mmmm, nice.